In honor of Clive Owen not winning an Oscar tomorrow, I’ve put together a mini-picspam from his delightful movie Greenfingers.

By the way… Clive Owen + bicycle = OTP!

Hehehe. Hehehehehe.

Controversial Post #621

Extramarital affair is so much fun to say. It just rolls off the tongue like *that*.

Almost makes me want to have one.

…………………………………………. just kidding.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why is Jason Bateman married?

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Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

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I think that Arrested Development may very well be the best TV show ever made. And you’re all not watching it, so its going to get cancelled. That makes me sad.

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But on the other hand, you’re all watching 24… so kudos! That Jack Bauer plays by his own rules.

I bought season 3 of 24 yesterday. It’s on sale at Target this week. I heart Tony Almeida.

Yeah… I promise a better entry tomorrow when I won’t be working all afternoon and I’ll have some time to think about it.

Today is President’s Day. A time for remembering the great leaders of our country. A time for SHOPPING and SALES! A time for sleeping in. But what about famous almost-Presidents? Yes, it’s a time to remember them as well.

Alexander Hamilton aka “Hammy Hottie”
Highest position obtained: Secretary of Treasury
Where you know him from: The Federalist Papers, The Electoral Collage, your $10 bill
Why no President? A technicality! Really! He was born in the British Isles, so he was Constitutionally unelectable. He was also one of the most elitist individuals ever to walk the planet. And that damn duel with Aaron “mother f-in’” Burr.

Henry Clay aka “Clay-dough”
Highest position obtained: Secretary of State
Where you know him from: All those damn compromises. Also from running for the Presidency 3 times without winning. He was also Speaker of the House and held some other non-descript but prominent government positions… blah, blah, bliggedy, blah.
Why no President? Missouri Compromise, Compromise of 1850… They didn’t name him “The Great Compromiser” for nothing– Clay was a pushover.

John C. Calhoun aka “Motha efin’ Nullifier”
Highest position obtained: Vice President
Where you know him from: Nullification. Yeah, that worked out *real* well. Also of note- South Carolina Exposition, Compromise of 1850, marriage to a girl named Flouride (WTF?)
Why no President? Ummm… the freaky older pictures of him pretty much do the trick. Also, treason might have played a factor.

William Jennings Bryan aka “Supa Silva”
Highest position obtained: Secretary of State
Where you know him from: Free Silver. Running for president way too many times. The Scopes Monkey Trial (Tennessee! Whah-what!)
Why no President? Doesn’t know when to quit when he’s ahead. Also, he had an overabundance of “causes” probably put him out of the running. His name may also have played a factor. President Jennings Bryan is quite a mouthful.

Dick Cheney aka “P.I.M.P.”
Highest position obtained: Vice President
Where you know him from: ordering George W. around, recurring health problems, all-around badass-ness
Why no President? Don’t be so quick to judge! I believe the.Cheney will come through. Sure, he could probably drop dead a week into his administration, but we’ll still get to see his dance moves at the inaugural ball, and that’s worth voting for!

So, yes, it’s finally time for a real layout. I’ll admit it. I have a crush on Jason Bateman. There you go! You’ve got it out of me.

I’m actually pretty proud of myself. This is the first layout in a long time that I put genuine effort into. I also think it’s very reminiscent of the stuff I used to do about a year and a half ago. It took me forever to cut out this picture of him from the original. Oh, and I’d like to thank Bateman Fan for the scans!

And I’ve been trying to get back into regular, daily website\blog visits… so if you have a decent blog with no splash page or frames, please comment with the address or email me the address… I’d really like to find some nice, new websites to visit.

And please, please, please comment if you like the layout.

And so this post won’t be completely humor-free:

Reason #1004782 why my parents are completely UNcool

Me: Did you have a good time at Mulligans?
Dad: No, we went to Christie’s Cabaret.
Me: What? You did not.
Dad: Yeah, we wanted to see where Kid Rock got arrested.

Please, someone help them.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Today I am single
How about you?

Here I am wishing you a happy V-Day. I’m kind of excited. My friend Hao (pronounced like ‘how’) and I are exchanging gifts because no one will love us… *sigh*

Alright, so I’ve finally settled on what I want to do for my new layout. But I need your help. I desperately need scans of Jason Bateman from the current issue of Men’s Health magazine. It has Matthew McConaughey on the cover. But if you turn it over there’s a “Guide to Style” portion of which Jason is the cover. There’s three photos of him in there that I would loooove to use in this next layout. So if you have a scanner and you love me ?!?!?!…. please scan them and send to bonnets@gmail.com.

Hehe. My dad has been a Men’s Health subscriber since before I can remember. But he never lets me read them because he says that have “secrets about boys” in them. Bwahahaha. But he let me read the Jason Bateman part. Thanks, Dad!

And just in case any of you are wondering what I gave up for Lent… it’s chocolate, with the exception of Valentine’s Day. But honestly, how can I be expected to keep any kind of Lenten promises on Singles Awareness Day?

Ah, yes. It’s that time of year. Time for the bad layout. It’s alright, I just need to get it out of my system. You should have an aesthetically pleasing layout to look out about a week from Thursday. I apologize for this.

… but it’s also time for something else…

LENT! You’re almost here! Just have to get over that hump known as Mardi Gras. And then sweet Lent renew thy force! Help me to keep up with my ice cube diet! Help me drop weight before Prom! Help me get a date to Prom! (Not sure how you’ll do that one… you’d better get started).

So to all my fellow Catholics out there… Happy Lenting. May your Fridays be meat-free.