Rarely funny.
Posted this over at You, Me and Everyone, but I felt you guys needed to hear this. Below is the trailer for the new Cold War Kids album, as well as the new title track Something Is Not Right With Me. I fucking love it.
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Cold War Kids – Something Is Not Right With Me
Also, below is one of my favorites, straight outta Nashville, Tennessee. You can just feel the energy in that room, and if I were there, I would have been jumping around like I was on fire.
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Posted in Word to...
Meh, I can live without two of those things.
Yes, this was my way of saying I have a boyfriend.
Posted in Other
While Emma is busy in the Vineyard, I thought I’d tell ya’ll about my friend, or moreso, his ex-girlfriend. Now, they just ended a two year long relationship after his having to endure what some would like to call “hell,” and I’m only writing about this because in some ways, it is a veritable gold mine of ridiculous phrases, quips and conversation. As I love those things in an unhealthy way, I thought I’d use my journalistic talents to tell his story. For the purposes of this story, I feel I should let you in on who she is. Her name is Katie, she’s blonde, she’s beautiful, she’s bulimic, and if put on Survivor, we’re pretty sure she’d eat the other cast members and then wonder where everyone went. It’s also good to note that she told us at a party that she could speak in tongues and kept warning us that the rapture was coming. She also slept with said friend at said party, and as I remember it, this is the conversation that led to commitment.
(It’s important to note that at the time, he was living in our fraternity house, and everyone knew about last night’s antics, and that there are four of us who are best friends, including him.)
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(As I walk in the room)
G: I don’t know man… should I add her as a friend?
M: Why not? I mean, you have two friends in common, so technically you kind of know her. Plus, you did sleep with her last night.
G: Yeah, but if I don’t remember it, she probably doesn’t…
(Down the hall) HEY! How do you spell DOUCHEBAG?
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Normally, I’d give him a speech about how he just ruined his life through promiscuity, but as she told us the rapture was coming, I didn’t have time to think. A few months later, he took her along to a date party, and we/our dates had the privilege of riding with her. As we all piled in, we stood awkwardly for a second waiting for her to press 26 because she was right in front of the panel. What happened next I will be able to repeat verbatim for the rest of my life.
Me: Hey, I think you need to press 26.
Katie: Oh! You’re suppose to press a button! I think this happened last time.
M: Wait, last time?
(Everyone giving said friend a look akin to “are you f**king serious? ”)
(Sighing while shaking his head) Look, just hit the button.
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Now, this went on for two years, and while I have a rolodex filled with her particular brand of common sense, this is a blog, and we were taught never to make a story too long, so I’ll leave you with this. It might be the best thing she’s ever said, and it wasn’t even directed at us.
(While holding a shake –n- bake box)
So, what, do I like, just shake it?
Posted in Guest Blogging
Collectively, I have about seven years of experience behind the wheel of a car, and I’d like to announce that I have a great idea for an automobile movie.
The idea came to me after an incident this weekend where a very small woman driving a plane-sized truck took off the front of my car, which left me wondering if most rural people knew what driving was “all about.” With “Hey, I’m About To Go Through This Intersection, So Please Hit Me,” I feel I can change that.
“Hey, I’m About To Go Through This Intersection…” is classic David vs. Goliath story. Its hero, Me, is a gifted, idealistic young driver trying to make it as a beacon of safety in the highly competitive world of rural driving. Faced with competition from a tiny elderly woman who kind of resembles the word retardation, I must choose between continuing to live with a clean driving record or swerving into traffic out of hatred for the world, as she will soon tell the police I, in fact, did. In the end, the choice is clear. I must swerve.
Of course, in the movie, I’ll probably drive a badass Land Rover, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, on a musical note, I’ve posted some tracks by one of my favorites DJ’s here.
Here’s hoping USAA fixes everything.
Posted in Word to...
Today, I just simply want to say Happy Birthday to my dear dear friend Christine.
At 22, she’s officially an old fart, and I miss her to pieces. Wish I could be there, lady!
Posted in Friends
Something new has been going on in my life for the past… week or so. Something that I almost cannot explain. Something I probably don’t want to explain, but I will.
This new phenomena in my life, it makes me giggle like a desperate 8th grade girl. I am waiting for the day to come where I am not still completely excited and needy for it. My life was entirely normal a week ago before this thing started. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!?!
Okay, okay. I’ll just come out with it. I listen to the Jonas Brothers.
I bought the single for Burnin’ Up on iTunes a week ago on a whim. A WHIM, PEOPLE! Oh how I wish I could turn back the hands of time. But I cannot. This song is so damn catchy I cannot stop listening. I was cleaning the house last Thursday listening to my iPod, and I kept switching back to this song because no other song would do.
I confessed all of this to my sister Audra, who promptly informed me that she herself was “burning up” for Nick Jonas. Me too, Audra. ME TOO!
Have you seen the video? OMG adorable. Seriously, how did they get that guy from Profiler to be in it? Gawd, why am I such a sucker for crappy pop songs? One day I will have taste! One day…
Posted in Music
Today I’m going to talk about my favorite kind of music, Mashups.
Now, the other day I introduced some of ya’ll to Girl Talk, one of the hottest mashup DJ’s around, but as his samples are limited to 15-30 seconds, I thought I’d introduce ya’ll to another favorite, The Hood Internet.
The Hood Internet is two Chi-town based DJ’s, Aaron Brink (aka ABX) and Steve Reidell (aka STV SLV), who specialize in piecing together hip-hop vocals and indie beats, and they are, in my opinion, the best in the business at creating monster mash-ups and club bangers for the music-savvy.
They follow a pretty basic formula. First they find a loopable chunk of music, anything from Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and The GO! Team to something danceable by Chromeo or MSTRKRFT, and lay an acappella rap track over it. The result is nothing short of brilliant.
Here are a few of my favorites, and you can check them out here.
1. The Hood Internet – Doe Boys and Fresh Girls (Three Six Mafia vs. The Hold Steady)
2. The Hood Internet – Absorb The Lip Gloss (Lil Mama vs. Marnie Stern)
3. The Hood Internet – What You Know About Transparent Things (T.I. vs. Fujiya & Miyagi)
4. The Hood Internet – Rock Yo Sea Legs (Crime Mob vs. The Shins)
5. The Hood Internet – I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. – Webbie vs. Black Moth Super Rainbow
Posted in Word to...
I never considered myself southern until I temporarily migrated to New England this summer.
But you guys… I mean, y’all, I am southern.
The fact is that I only lived in Massachusetts until I was 7. And I have slowly been turning into a southerner ever since I moved to Tennessee.
It’s not so bad really. But everyday I am noticing more southernisms about myself. Like how I kind of miss that good feeling you get when you wave to people you don’t know while driving, and they wave back.
Don’t worry, I still don’t drink sweet tea like it’s water. I leave that up to Kalista.
Posted in The South
There are some words that will always put a smile on my face, for reasons that are not apparent to anyone but myself. No matter where I am, I will giggle like a little girl. Here are some of those words and the story behind why I am amused.
