Rarely funny.
My parents came to visit me on the island for two days. The left yesterday morning. I cried the minute I saw them, I cried the minute they left.
I showed them pretty much the entire island in one day. In a little Kia Spectra, to boot!
Something my father said while they were here that I will never forget:
“I was just thinking about the perfect vacuum cleaner. There really isn’t one.”
I’ll let you guess how many beers ice cream cones my father enjoyed before making that priceless comment.
Posted in My Parents Are Amazing, Photos, Summer
Last week my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Dennis came to visit me for the afternoon, and what a time we had! I’ve never hit up so many bars ice cream shops in my life.
This visit was great for many reasons. One, because I really was in need of a relaxing afternoon. Two, because I had yet to really take advantage of finally being 21 years old. But the best part of the visit? I found out who my father really is, via a nickname I had never heard of before. And I won’t reveal the story behind the nickname, but if you know my dad and if you see him around, just call him B.C.M.S. I would really appreciate it.
Posted in My Parents Are Amazing, Summer
As you should know, Phelps won his 8th gold, beat Mark Spitz’s 36-year-old record and proved to the world that he has bionic limbs and can shoot lasers out of his eyes. He is like a much smaller version of Godzilla. He also eats 12,000 calories a day. Your mission for this week is to top his number, eating 13,000 a day. By the end of this week, you will have either died, or you will become the next Michael Phelps. You decide.
Posted in Word to...
On Monday, I went for a serious bike ride. I was dead serious until I hit this dip:
I got scared and turned around.
But today? Today I did it. Look Ma, no hands!
Posted in Summer
Things I am currently unhappy about:
Things I am currently happy about:
Posted in Photos
For the past three years I felt hurried to get somewhere. Adulthood, The Real World, whatever you call it. I think this comes from the few instances where I find myself away from home, am experiencing someone else’s situation in life, and find myself insane with jealously.
College has made me feel stuck in one place, like I’m waiting for my real life to begin. And this summer has made it even worse. Every now and then I just find myself depressed that I have to go back to Knoxville. Why can’t I get a real job and start my real life now?
I don’t know why I am in such a hurry to grow up at 21. But I think I’m ready to stop. I should be making the most of this supposed purgatory. Not to mention that I’ll never cut it in the real world if I don’t know how to use a can opener.
Posted in Other
Just this morning I was walking back from my coffee shop of choice in Edgartown– Espresso Love. I was wearing a white t-shirt, so of course I spilled coffee all over myself. And that got me to thinking about all the things I never learned to do, like how to not spill coffee on myself when I’m wearing white t-shirts. In reality, there are so many things I haven’t learned to do that make me feel unprepared for the world.
I have never learned to open a can with a can opener. For this one I blame my parents for having an electric one in the kitchen for so long. At the grocery store I always try to buy cans that have the pull-tab, because I know that I’m just asking for trouble trying to use a can opener. Could someone be so kind as to show me how?
I have never learned to not tip like a rockstar. Could someone remind me that I’m in college and am not made of money? See exhibits A and B.
I have never learned to walk in heels. I think I may have touched on this in a past post, along the lines of I’ll never really feel like a woman until I can feel confident wearing heels. But really, life is to short to cause your feet so much pain. And there are so many no-heel alternatives out there. Plus, I am too tall for heels! I might consider trying to train myself in this arena if I were headed for a career sitting at a desk, but I fear I will be standing up for most of my working life, so heels be darned.
I have never learned to accept my hair the way it is. I’m on my third hair straightener now and have more hair products than you can shake a stick at, which is proof that I am willing to spend any amount of money to not have my hair look the way it was intended. There was one morning, about a year and a half ago, where I woke up and was like “YES!” 
about my real hair. And I have never been able to get my hair to look like that on it’s own again. Here’s a picture from that morning:
I have never learned to not take jokes too far. I think it’s the part of me that always wanted to be a stand-up comedienne. I’ll figure this one out eventually.
I have never learned how to act at concerts. Maybe this is because I am incredibly white, but like… what do you do at concerts? I just feel so awkward that standing still seems to be the best strategy. Someone please tell me this will change now that I’m 21 and can drink at concerts?
The end.
Posted in Word to...
My father wanted to me to make it very clear that I am not a Patriots fan, and the glass on the table in the pictures from my birthday party was in no way indicative of my athletic allegiance. Sorry Aunts Kathy and Penny.
My father also wanted to make sure of something else.
“Is Will a Patriots fan?”
“I don’t know Dad, I don’t think so.”
“Good, that’s test one.”
