Just this morning I was walking back from my coffee shop of choice in Edgartown– Espresso Love. I was wearing a white t-shirt, so of course I spilled coffee all over myself. And that got me to thinking about all the things I never learned to do, like how to not spill coffee on myself when I’m wearing white t-shirts. In reality, there are so many things I haven’t learned to do that make me feel unprepared for the world.
I have never learned to open a can with a can opener. For this one I blame my parents for having an electric one in the kitchen for so long. At the grocery store I always try to buy cans that have the pull-tab, because I know that I’m just asking for trouble trying to use a can opener. Could someone be so kind as to show me how?
I have never learned to not tip like a rockstar. Could someone remind me that I’m in college and am not made of money? See exhibits A and B.
I have never learned to walk in heels. I think I may have touched on this in a past post, along the lines of I’ll never really feel like a woman until I can feel confident wearing heels. But really, life is to short to cause your feet so much pain. And there are so many no-heel alternatives out there. Plus, I am too tall for heels! I might consider trying to train myself in this arena if I were headed for a career sitting at a desk, but I fear I will be standing up for most of my working life, so heels be darned.
I have never learned to accept my hair the way it is. I’m on my third hair straightener now and have more hair products than you can shake a stick at, which is proof that I am willing to spend any amount of money to not have my hair look the way it was intended. There was one morning, about a year and a half ago, where I woke up and was like “YES!” 
about my real hair. And I have never been able to get my hair to look like that on it’s own again. Here’s a picture from that morning:
I have never learned to not take jokes too far. I think it’s the part of me that always wanted to be a stand-up comedienne. I’ll figure this one out eventually.
I have never learned how to act at concerts. Maybe this is because I am incredibly white, but like… what do you do at concerts? I just feel so awkward that standing still seems to be the best strategy. Someone please tell me this will change now that I’m 21 and can drink at concerts?
